Technically...

Morgan: hi

me: hey hey. my womb is slowly coming out of my vagina
Morgan: i don't think you can have a womb unless your preg

are you preggo

me: no

thats why i'm in pain

Morgan: right

me: because of this incredibly abnormal situation

me: ok fine

what if i'm spiritually pregnant

Morgan: oh god
me: gawd.

how are you?

Mind-Dumbing

me: *CENSORED*

12:38 PM i'm teaching myself french by reading french news

and then translating it b/c my french sucks

12:39 PM Morgan: coolio

did you move yet?

how is your job?

i feel like its dumbing you down

12:40 PM where's my whipper-snapper kamdizzleface

12:41 PM me: i'm moving

soon

i found a place

with a roomate

who has a full time job

and is in grad school

meaning

she is never home

so if she IS crazy like my current roomate

I will never see her

and if she isnt crazy, then thats awesome!

ALSO

cheaper than my current apartment

and nicer than my current apartment

12:42 PM AND I dont even have to pay to use the laundry !!!

did you say my job is dumbing me down?

yeah maybe a little

but i think thats life

life dumbs you down

Ms. I have been enrolled in school my entire LIFEO

11 minutes

12:53 PM Morgan: ???

]hey

whats that mean

i love svhool

12:54 PM sorry i had to take a nap for a second

me: i have a mtg in 5 min

Morgan: ok

well

have fun

me: i'm sleepy

i'm going to fall asleep in the meeting

Morgan: i haven't not been sleepy in days

weeks1

take excedrin!

12:55 PM miracle drug!

for headaches

newho have funners

12:56 PM me: huh?

ok

bye!

Reverse Bulimia

12:28 PM Morgan: what is reverse bulimia, praytell

12:29 PM me: you are gone

you are fleeting

sigh.

12:34 PM Morgan: i'm not gone

i'm invisible

hahaha

me: but you are never invisible to me!

cackle cackle

Morgan: i don't think its disgusting i think its questionable

oh boy

12:35 PM me: I have sent you TWO bunnies

Morgan: ok so tell me what your former status means

me: bunny pics

TWO emails

Morgan: no response!

me: and this is what I get back from you?

reverse bulimia means

Morgan: hahaha

me: i'm lactose intolerant

but I eat dairy products anyway

Morgan: aaaaaah

me: like 3 bowls of ice cream in one night

but

it comes out the other end

Morgan: poop town!

?

doesn't that hurt?

that would kill me

12:36 PM i'm actually going to my doctor today to figure out what is wrong with my tummy

everything gives me reflux or makes me nauseous

*CENSORED*

a fortuitous realization

me: i need a spouse
but kam i'm really not into the kid thing
i don't know if i ever will be
all the carrying and feeding
it's like bunnies TIMES A MILLION
Kam: dude
i'm the opposite
i want the kiddies
me: really
Kam: but no husband
me: ha
let's get married
Kam: we should marry!
hahah
me: hahaha
Kam: i'll take care of the kids
and you'll get the spouse
but you gotta bring home the bacon then
me: fine

Conversations of Substance (and Fluid)

Morgan: hey

i've been there

believe me

but

i was 17

so

barf!

me: hey!

i've never been there

so re-digest your barf

Fuck Change (.org)

me: ok i need a change bowl

i have copious amounts of coins

$7.10

i'm rich!

me: actually

$7.47

even richer!!

Morgan: omigod something fortuitous happened today

me: yes?

Morgan: i went to get coffee and automatically went for the large w/out knowing how much money i had or how much it cost

and it was cash only

i knew i had one dollar bill and a bunch of change

it was $1.73

I had EXACTLY $1.73, 13 cents of which was in PENNIES

me: that is awesome

that is the universe watching out for you

Conversations of Substance (and Fluid)

me: HeLLO!
.....i didnt get my morgan fill yesterday
Morgan: and for that i am deeply repentant
...........one sec must peee